It’s been a struggle to keep down 3 meals plus snacks. Or to even force myself to eat on a regular basis. I’ll admit to skipping a few meals and still having the odd urge to bring it all back up, but I’m obviously doing something right because I have so much energy and for the first time in over a year I have had a period. I know it seems disgusting to be happy about something like that. But when you think about it, it means that my body is finally nourished and doesn’t need to be in ‘starvation’ mode where it cuts off the production of certain hormones in attempt to save itself from losing vital nutrients. I’ve stopped worrying about that little number that pops up on the scales that used to dominate what I would eat and how much I would exercise. Instead I’m focusing on healthy eating and regular exercise. I’ve grown so tired of Ana and Mia controlling my every move that I hardly hear their voices urging me on back down the rabbit hole and back to starvation. I’ve learnt that I am the one to save myself, no matter what my family, friends, dietitians or psychiatrists tell me, I am the only one who can make the change.

-Love Alice xx